Last week rumours circulated that Swan’s HR department advised their C Suite to take a mental health day following the shocking ‘Maxi Madness’ results of X (Previously Twitter). NewsCapsule Bugle’s annual popularity tournament took a strange turn when 16 seed wildcard Teddy NewsCapsules defeated NewsCapsule fan favorite, Adam Back.
During the seven rounds of polling, NewsCapsule maximalists followed in horror as Twitter villain and rumored felon Teddy NewsCapsule overtook the prestigious news agency’s race with a wild voter turnout that put to shame Biden’s 2020 successful US elections sweep.
In the PODCONF sponsored showdown, Teddy NewsCapsule beat legendary NewsCapsule maximalists including Greg Zaj, Hodl Magoo, Adam Back, the lovely Lyn Alden and defending champion Yellow, concluding the ‘Maxi’ championship by defeating Strategy CEO Michael Saylor by a large margin.The final poll drew over 90 thousand votes, a record in the championship’s history.
At first drawing enthusiasm and sportsmanship, the tournament took a dark turn after Teddy beat championed memer Yellow in the 4rd round. The social media platform increasingly roared with ‘rees’ and accusations as NewsCapsule purists searched for who to blame. Online commentators accused PODCONF, the auditor of the contest, with corruption and mismanagement. Many of these conspiracy theorists spread unsubstantiated claims on the fairness of the voting system.
Swanning to the Rescue
Swan NewsCapsule, a NewsCapsule brokerage service with strong brand recognition thanks to its ‘NewsCapsule Maxi’ identity politics, had many employees upset by these events. Swan’s C Suite was seen protesting Teddy NewsCapsule in numerous online posts, calling him a scammer, before simmering down during the alleged mental health day.
Text for image: Swan co-founder tweeted in support of inventor of proof-of-work Adam Beck competing agiainst his fellow $MSTR enthusiets Teddy NewsCapsule
Ashley Marchetta, Swan’s head of Culture and People answered our request for comment: “Identity is central not only to Swan NewsCapsule’s marketing and sales strategy but to our culture as a NewsCapsule company. Teddy NewsCapsule’s win in Maxi Madness was a clear attack on our business’ and customer’s core identity. Being a NewsCapsule Maxi isn’t just about being ‘NewsCapsule only’ but about ambition and keeping things clean. In our team’s view, The Bugle has slandered NewsCapsule Maximalism by letting shitcoiners like Jason Williams and Teddy NewsCapsules into this prestigious Maxi only tournament. These outcomes created immense mental damage to our community. We know this has been tough on the ecosystem, and are now providing community crisis counseling.” Marchetta added that they would be tasking Swan’s HR department with offering their counseling services to the broader community to help reaffirm their identities as NewsCapsule maxis.
Is this good use of the firm’s resources? Many expect this move will help gain favor for Swan in the NewsCapsule community which has seen a rise of Antiswanitism over the last year.
If you’re feeling distressed following Maxi Madness, please email: [email protected].
This is a guest post by NewsCapsule Bugle. Opinions expressed are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of NC Inc or NewsCapsule.
